Ten Ways to Irritate a Writer

Here are ten things to say to your writer friends, to drive them mad. This is the result of years of dedicated research!
1 My life would make a book.
2 I'll let you write my story, provided you don't publish it till I'm dead.
3 Where do you get your ideas from?
4 Nice little hobby you've got there.
5 If I had the time, I'd write a book.
6 Are you still writing?
7 Oh no, there's no money in the kitty to pay you, but think of the free publicity!
8 Have you ever had anything published then?
9 You must be rolling in it, look at J K Rowling.
10 I've written a book as well, but I've never bothered to have it published.

All additional suggestions welcome!


Anonymous said…
You've written a novel - fantastic - am I in it?
Oh yes! That's another one!
Anonymous said…
"Ooh, you must have a wonderful imagination" swiftly followed by "So, do you base your characters on people you know?"
Anonymous said…
Ten Ways....

Don’t ya just lurrrrve this anecdote, attributed to the late Peter Cook.

Brain Surgeon:
'So, you are a writer? When I retire I’m going to write a novel…’

Peter Cook:
‘Really? When I retire, I’m going to be a brain surgeon….’

Janice X
Anonymous said…
From Sheila Templeton:
Oh I write poems too. I wrote one for my Mum/Dad/Golden Wedding/cat's birthday.... I'll send it to you. And endless variations thereof, as in 'my daughter writes poems' etc etc..... with same outcome!
Anonymous said…
My three favourites are
'Well, of course, when I write *my* novel it will be a *serious* book'
as opposed - presumably - to the lighthearted drivel you write.

'Now, I know you don't like being disturbed when you're writing, but I knew you wouldn't mind if I popped in for coffee.'

'So, how much money do you make from your writing, then?'
Maggie Gray
Oh yes Maggie! Or the people who phone in the daytime just to 'have a chat' and say 'you're not working are you?'
Alison Craig said…
From Alison Craig
"Oh, so you do a bit of writing, do you? How interesting." (Pregnant pause). "God, I'm fedup with this weather, aren't you?"
Anonymous said…
My mum, bless her, regularly phones during the day and always starts the conversation with "Now I know you're busy, so I'll be quick...". An hour later...